Posted by: breathejoyinlife | December 22, 2010

The Road

In these great times of change, at the beginning of this new year, I am being guided to share some insights, on the paths forward through our relationships, with everything, and everyone, around us. These relationships are those we have with our Self, Nature, our environment, our friends, family, and partners. We have become stuck in patterns, those learned from our past observations and experiences. They may have been useful to get us to this point in time, but there are some pieces of the foundations that we have built, that could be made stronger. To do that, we need to begin again, with our relationship with our Self, with Nature, with our environment. In doing so, we can begin to add strength to those foundations for our future relationships.

As children, we were never taught how to be in relationship with the Self. We are taught how to “fit in” and “make due”, with half-truths and compromising your own integrity, but few parents are able to guide the Child to the relationship with the Adult. When we are taught that you have to watch every word that you say, to make sure that no one’s feelings are hurt, we loose the ability to stand in our truth, and speak from the heart. We learn so much, especially as children, simply by observing the behaviors of those around us. When a good natured family competition can be viewed by a youth, as something that one needs to become a part of, this can become a pattern that is hard to get out of. The simple competition can become a way that one proves one’s own value, needing to be “better than” every one else, in order to feel “OK”. Because there is no handbook to raising children, we tend to forget how easily these behaviors can be misinterpreted, especially when they are behaviors we learned as children, ourselves. When we carry these patterns forward, we have difficulty finding our own worth, without comparing oneself to others. As a foundation, this leaves us with a very poor relationship with the Self. We can only teach our children that, no matter what kind of “competition” they might observe, the more important outcome is that they do their best, and that their best is the Best thing there is. When we can learn that the Self has value, our own Personal Truth has value, regardless of anyone else’s input, we can build that foundation in a more balanced way.

As children we design paths to getting our needs met. Think of these paths as roadways through the landscape of our lives. These roadways are the foundations of our relationships. When we wish to build a road, to get from one point to another, the choice is usually the shortest distance and the straightest line. When we clear this path, cut the trees, pull the stumps, and pave directly over the landscape, we create this wild ride, over the bumps, down into the deep valleys, on this brand new road. Its fun at first, but as the road gets older, it starts developing pot holes, and cracks in the pavement, and bridges that are failing. This road begins to become very difficult to travel.

The infant cries, knowing that it will get its bottle, and thus a pattern is learned, a “road” is paved. These “roadways” are the way that we connect, within our relationships. The infant’s “roadway” is in its purest form, coming from natural Truths. The infant is not confined by concerns of whether it is “too loud”, or if it is keeping someone awake. The infant simply needs to use its voice, in order to convey the message. As we get older, we tend to loose that place of Truth, and the clear cutting begins, in order to form new “roadways”. Clearing the way for the road, clear cutting and paving, ignoring Nature around us, is similar to the way we create these paths to relationships with others. We ignore our own Nature, pave over our own Truths, in order to create the smoothest, quickest path to getting our wants met within a relationship. Because we are not standing on a foundation of Personal Truth, honesty and integrity is lost, and the road becomes difficult travel and maintain.

When our personal “roadways” become too difficult to maintain, we tend to simply choose not to travel them anymore. This is also evident in the surroundings we have created. When it becomes more costly to retrofit existing buildings, we tear them down and build new ones. Often the buildings aren’t even torn down, they are simply left empty, as a statement that it is “OK” to do this. In doing this we start to deplete our Natural resources, as these building materials have to come from somewhere. In the same way, we deplete our personal resources, our own energies, when we create “roadways”, or relationships that we no longer maintain. Leaving behind the empty shell of these relationships creates scars, littering the landscape our personal lives. Even after the “road” forks, taking the individuals in different directions, there is still a common “roadway” that was created. There is no need to build barriers, leaving more scars and wounds, for all involved. Honoring and respecting the “road” that led you to your current path, helps to bring healing, and creates a more solid foundation for your new “roadways”.

The foundation of a good relationship, with the Self, or anyone else, is the ability to stand in your own Truth. When you are not able to stand in your own Truth, you no longer have the confidence in your Self, you compromise who you are, and the foundation is left unbalanced. Because that foundation starts out as unstable, unbalanced, the foundations of all other relationships will also be unbalanced.
As adults, in today’s society, we must learn how to regain that position, find the balance within our Truth. We must make our own relationships balanced, more stable, if we are going to move forward, to teach the children how to begin with a sound structure.

As we start the New Year, we can take the first step. Reflection on the past, understanding and accepting the “roads” that we have created so far, on this journey of life, is a good place to start. The way to start building more solid foundations, is to begin with the relationship that we have created with the Self. When we can recognize our own Personal Truth, can become comfortable with who we are right now, we can begin to heal. We need to learn to put certain “pitfalls” behind us, in order to start repairs. What creates these “pitfalls”? A lack of self-esteem, wounded pride, the feeling of a loss of control, creating competition, self judgment- all are stumbling blocks along the way. These all can bring a sense of needing to be “better than”. We are perfect the way that we were Created. All Souls are Equal, no one “better than” another. When we can put these “pitfalls” behind us, we can learn to Love the Self. With that as a foundation, all other relationships can become stronger.

The process of building our highways takes time, involving the removal of the rocks and trees that might be in the way, smoothing the surfaces. This process is a lot of work. Much is the same with our own personal process, of rebuilding the “roadways”, and lines of communication, of our relationships. It takes time and work. At times, the repaired “roadways” may take on a new appearance, may become something different. This is a natural part of the process, as we move into a better relationship with the Self, with our own Personal Truth. It takes practice, and acceptance of your Self, as you are. If there are things that you wish to change, to become more aligned with your Truth, then change them! Remember that only you can ultimately makes changes in your Self, just as others have the control over their own personal Truths. We can only work on our own end, we cannot make anyone else feel or behave as we would wish. We must accept each other, as we accept the Self, UNconditionally.

As the infant uses its voice, from a place of its own Truth, to communicate its needs and wants, so must we learn to stand within our own Truth, and communicate with those around us. We must also learn to listen, and hear the Truth from each other, as we hope others would listen to us, without judgment. We can choose to take action, to move forward, or we can continue to live with “broken roads”. We can continue to cover our mouths, and keep our words inside, creating a sense of frustration, or we can choose to speak up. We can sit idly by, watching the foundations crumble, or we can do the work that it takes to rebuild. When we come from the place within the Heart, speaking our Truth, true communication can begin. True healing can begin. This is true for our relationship, not just with the Self, but with partners, parents, children, brothers and sisters, community, Nature, and our environment. Coming from this place, we can learn UNconditional Love, for All.

~ Lester Greenwood (Seven Star)
Andrea Brenton (Woman Who Walks Through Spirit)


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